just heard

"depression is rage turned inward." hmm.

you can never put them back

I took these intimate trophies off the shelf

Because I thought it would help.

But, I shouldn’t have told her.

Now I’m just a has-been, broken-down soldier.

Nothing quite cuts with such a desperate cool

Like golden death begetting the fool.

But, I should have known better.

Now I’m locked in this closet and cannot forget her.

There’s a resplendent naiveté I won’t know again

To complement a callow cowardice of ken.

pithy sojourn from the path of ponderance

Reality is so gritty gritty

And real life so shitty shitty,

And isn’t it a pity pity,

That doing this twice isn’t that witty witty.

i made this up in my head while i was driving home. 2 hour capstone meeting with my mba group-- not pleased. i don't mind if i have to teach a concept, i don't mind doing more than my fair share of work, but do not waste my time because you didn't do what you were supposed to and didn't let me know until the damn meeting. either i have high expectations or this team concept of consideration is far less interesting to others.

i probably wouldn't be so annoyed if i wasn't so tired. i worked late every night this week to make this requirement so i wouldn't let the team down. and as a result, i think i'm beginning to get sick. i'm not even current on news and that's a reflexive habit for you me. i feel like i should be contributing more meaningful pieces to the blogosphere for my meager audience, but not for awhile i think. you'll have to subsist on sporadic posts with occasional meat. i do appreciate those of you who have commented on the poetry; i read each one (sometimes more than once); and those of you who have expressed your enjoyment of this blog.

this week of numbers

it has fully hit me today. i am taking 8 credits for grad school. i have 3 assignments (1 individual, 2 group) due this week. 2 meetings with my group. 9 chapters to read. i'm not sure how many lectures i'm supposed to view, but most likely they will be skipped. if you are not necessary to survival, you will not hear from me this week. apologies in advance.

ing

choking on loneliness in my throat

burning eyes with sand

waiting 45 minutes on hold for a week ago

sending emails to myself so I’ll receive something

staring at a picture of words

wearing a Temporary badge

and feeling that way.

not for sale

The world’s hands pressed on windows

Subjugate the golden soul with the banal-

The gleam marred by oily fingerprints

And now only reflecting this seedy caul.

The worn fray of want that held the price

Can only increase your deluded desire-

Its tactile warmth from mmm friction

Is the faux cool of a choked fire.

This store is closed, but the market is open

To pander to your narcissistic caprice-

Browse the catalog and Read the signs:

“Look elsewhere for your selfish peace.”

it's official

i'm officially divorced, i'm officially a director, and it's all so officious.

sunday silo sluice

my senses have recovered enough to provide an update. another semester is officially complete. finance and marketing exams were duly dispatched yesterday then our group went to a bar to watch the gators decimate tennessee in basketball. after that, our rowdy group migrated to a bar closer to the hotel.

okay, not that you can tell, but now i'm back on to finish this post. sitting at the orlando airport since my flight is delayed an hour and a half. the silver lining, i'll get to catch the beginning of the super bowl now. thank you dad for the red carpet access!

sleep, sleep, sleep

found out that a friend of mine was fired at my old company. need to call him tomorrow. apparently, it wasn't done very well, but they weren't very good at the people side of things. i think he's taking it pretty hard.

off to school tomorrow. exams on saturday. and while the rest of you lazy bums are sleeping in, i'll be up at 0730 for the start of my 4th semester classes on sunday. oh the price, what a price it is. not to mention the tuition. after this one, i think i might take more time off than last time. i haven't gone more than a semester without being in a program. take some time. teach myself a language. ah, but we're getting too far ahead of ourselves. 14 months left in this one. plant one foot in front of the other and don't forget to stop and look back at our previous steps before they are washed away and consumed by the waves of our boundless, blue memory.

my secret