Tuesday, May 30, 2006

ouch.

how long did rip van winkel sleep for? it sounds really good right now.

Friday, May 26, 2006

still in grand rapids


1st week down in grand rapids on business. hasn't been that hectic actually, but work has kept me occupied. it's been good, more time spent with the team here to make sure that we're on track. i can almost taste the successful achievement of the vision for my department. global IT asset management for our organization. it can be done. 10 months into the job and i've built it up from scratch. IAITAM wants to use my policy as a best practice document and they would like me to host a workshop at the conference in october. of course, the real trick is actually doing it and delivering value. we will.

a big hello to all of the old lost and founds from myspace. wow, it's amazing to be able to find friends after so long. =D

that pic isn't from gr, it's from busch gardens down in tampa with beansprout.

--brio

Thursday, May 25, 2006

flawed hero

Why wouldn't you look up to me.
I'm shiny and brilliant
And blaze a path
That's one in a million.

But, now you see the flaws,
You see I am human
And just like you,
I can fade and die.

So raise a cup! Toast me! Drink to my health!
And watch me accept your praise
By falling on my sword
Killing both our worlds
Though it's only me
who has been gored.

Labels:

Saturday, May 20, 2006

on my way

it's a little before 6, i'm in tpa, i'm on my way to grr! brio!

--brio

Monday, May 15, 2006

what to believe

almost everything reminds me of you
I see your face many times a day--
my heart leaps
and then it's someone else.

better with pure memory
than fickle reality.

lion's mane disarrayed on pillows,
hands interlocked on sheets,
and fixed blue smiling on me
stirs a warm upside down world
that owns the moment
just as it owns my heart.


* - ended up going with gustav klimt on this one; i like the ethereal feeling that this painting gives and was the reason it was selected. others considered: edgar degas and any of his bath scenes, woman by shashin, woman by amedeo modigliani, and woman kneeling by michael austin.

Labels:

Under the waves

Salty waves crashing over your naked neck
sting and bite and leave their rosy fleck.
There is a current that pulls and pulls down
to a safe sleep under Venus' gown.
Warm shivers show dancing, iridescent shells
conjured by the waves' rhythmic spells.
Then rest, swept ashore with sea foam,
In seaweed arms sheltered on homey loam.

Labels:

when will i be home?


I'm driving from Orlando to nowhere
in no feasible hurry.
Images flash of you, your smile, your hair
swiftly, but not blurry.
I sharply feel we haven't talked in over a day,
and it feels wrong.
It's hard to discern this fractured way
without your tones of song.
I don't know where the last hour went
as the cars floated by.
I don't know how much more life will be spent
without feeling your rode sigh.

Labels:

Saturday, May 13, 2006

First Communion

Congratulations to my lil buddy, Zelda (she's a big fan; we talk about it all of the time), who had her first communion today. Not only am I very proud of her, but I'm glad that I was able to be there to share in it with her and her family. May this be the first step on a long and fulfilling path. =)

--brio

Friday, May 12, 2006

I need to believe there is a contrast between white and white.

the smile

the smile, oh the smile that creeps,

the smile, oh the smile that leaps,

it stays on my face, but off it seeps

through my entire body longing for you

and then, there it is! it peeps,

in my smile floating above you.

Labels:

Judas Goat

Follow me

The way is clear

If only from the front

Just overlook

Trepidation

That this is not your hunt.

Follow them

They'll follow me

overlooking dried blood

Staining gates

Could be warning

Instead of churning mud.


* Judas goat - A Judas Goat is a term used to describe a trained goat used at a slaughterhouse and in general animal herding. The Judas goat is trained to associate with sheep or cattle, leading them to a specific destination. In stockyards, a Judas goat will lead sheep to slaughter, while its own life is spared. Judas goats are also used to lead other animals to specific pens and on to trucks. The term Judas Goat is derived from a biblical reference to Judas Iscariot.

Labels:

Feels like I'm never coming home

We may share the same stars in the skies,

But they’re as far away as you-

Both swallowed by the black that dies.


I’m depressed and so I starve and drink,

Catharsis would be a utopian suicide-

Both afford the luxury not to think.



How long can I stumble drunk and blind?

Dreaming of yesterday and tomorrow-

Both spit blood and teeth as though bitter rind.


Feels like I’m never coming home.

disaffected

My disenchanted romanticism

Spurs your desire, it’s really hunger,

Through disaffected witticism

That kills me ephemerally longer.

I’m a unique trophy to mount

And stuff-- a head that bleeds tears.

I’m the youthful, free-flowing fount

Allowing you to drink and forget your fears.

Labels:

to be three

It's simple.

I scream because it hurts.

I throw my toys at you.

I can't express myself.

I talk short.

I want you to hold me,

I explain this by hitting you.

I I I is me by three.

I'm simple.

Labels:

Thursday, May 11, 2006

There's no better time than now to learn Spanish

The Population Resource Center cites statistics showing the average Hispanic woman will have three children in her lifetime; it's 1.8 for non-Hispanic whites.

Census statistics show that 45 percent of children under age 5 are from a racial or ethnic minority.

Dumbest related quote: Libbey Paul, a senior vice president of marketing for ACNielson, the marketing information company, told The Associated Press that supermarkets are looking to stock more of what large, young families need, items like toothpaste.

Learn Spanish AND brush your teeth!

--brio

Monday, May 08, 2006

Excerpt from chapter: The Middle of the End

"Life needs to begin for me now."

This is the thought that accompanies me daily while I drip though another apathetic day of Southern drawl. Words drool around me wetting me with their semantic lapses, only to be occasionally marred by a distant, dispassionate British accent. Rudderless, I drift through the day. I am exiled to an office and a phone-relegated to the modern-day, electronic leper colony safely offshore. The only record of my passage is a phone bill and the intangible detritus of emails I leave strewn in computers across the world.

I work in an antiquated building that floats near a regional airport next to the water. Its structure and age pay a mute homage to Florida's history. This state was not habitable before the advent and widespread acceptance of air conditioning. When that happened in the 50's or 60's, suddenly this wild, sticky-hot bastion, that happened to be a state, was rendered friendly to humanity for permanent occupancy and employment. The exterior of the building is white. The interior is white. My office is white. The employees are whitewashed.

I look like the rest of them. My skin is sun-starved and sallow: too many days adrift on a raft to an island that will never appear on the horizon with no nourishment to relieve my soul scurvy. I sound like the rest of them: the words that leave my parched throat are a direct reflection of my parched soul. I feel like the rest of them: dry, doughy, and insubstantial. There is a septic anesthetic that pervades the atmosphere and our lives, numbing our sense of self.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

get better

=)

Saturday, May 06, 2006

the end of the mountain man


shaved it off today.

--beardless brio

Friday, May 05, 2006

who's who... not me!

just received a phone call from the who's who people. the guy either naturally had a weird accent or was purposely affecting some sort of snobbish, british tone. sir, you are so wonderful, you are an achiever, you are accomplished, now can we have $468 for a lifetime, platinum membership? riiiiiiiiight.

cheerio,
brio

Thursday, May 04, 2006

new word

courtesy of my buddy from hawaii, "malaisey". well, it's certainly been that kind of week.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

not much to say

not much to say right now. i've been having a pretty bad week. unfortunately, i know i'm not the only one; as bad as mine has been, i know someone who has had a much worse week than me. my heart goes out to them. i wish i could take it all away.

congratulations to an old friend of mine who is getting married next month in nyc. he is my former roommate from tx and i hadn't heard from him in about a year. i'll be there, so i look forward to seeing him again.

--brio

Monday, May 01, 2006

Expectations of a relationship

Like a team. Us versus the world. Two people holding hands braving the elements, looking at everything with a positive outlook and a sense of adventure. Yeah, life kicks you down sometimes, but the most important thing is that sense of family that should always be there. I don’t see kids as equal partners—they are in the family unit [that sounds stilted], but I deliberately set them apart because the mother and father need to be a united team for them. I think this is really important. Kids need to know that mom and dad are consistent and on the same page. It gives them a foundation that is an absolute which is vital. Of course, that means that mom and dad have to communicate, compromise, agree, and adhere to what that will be. It could be bedtime will be at 8; no questions. Or, maybe it is an understanding of how to discipline, or how to show encouragement and love.

On the topic of discipline, I believe in treating kids like little adults. You sit down with them and talk through the behavior or incident. Like right now with Beansprout, today in fact, she spit on the floor on purpose, I had her come over to me, I sat her down on my lap holding her, and talked about why we don’t do that (somebody else might step in it and that would be yucky, and I illustrated by holding her foot so she could see the bottom of it to get the visual element of what could happen). As kids get older, there’s actually more listening involved because you’ve already set most of the foundation from their younger years. They have a sense of right and wrong and the values you’ve given them, the key is to understand what they’re thinking and feeling through it and understanding how others might think or feel.

I don’t personally feel the need to go out for a night by myself, or just with my friends. If I’m going out, I’d like my wife to be with me. I spend most of my life interacting with a whole bunch of external people, I don’t need to do that on my time. I want to spend it with my family or just my wife. I married her to share and enhance the colors of my experiences. Different people have different levels of sharing that they allow. I feel that you should respect your partner’s wish to share with you what they’re comfortable with, recognizing that is a sign of the depth and strength of the relationship. It takes awhile to build up to sharing everything in a way that both partners can understand. Some things unlock the door to other things and we all have different ways of showing those doors and unlocking them. It takes time to mutually achieve that. I don’t like secrets or deliberately not sharing something. There is never a good reason for this—and the other person will always be able to feel it lying there.

I can understand that some people need some alone time, for me that’s commuting to work, or working on the computer (the blog, cough cough) for a little bit. I think it is really important that me and my partner dedicate some alone time every week. Maybe it’s dinner out and a movie, or a dedicated afternoon in bed with the kids somewhere else. ;) And there needs to be small chunks of dedicated time during the regular week too. It could be 10-15 minutes after one gets home from work and while you change in the room you talk with just each other. Or a routine after bedtime of making sure that you get some alone time—maybe snuggling on the couch or something like that. I like regular special family nights. When I was a kid, every Friday was taco night. It was the one night we were allowed to have soda with dinner. We’d make a huge batch of taco’s (we’re talking like an unhealthy amount) and eat and eat and eat. Dinners were always at least an hour at my house because we would talk about so many things. A family has to eat together—there is such a fundamental emotional connection there. And after we were done, we’d either play a game or watch a movie together. I like certain routines or rituals in a home: dinner being my favorite. But, it could be bedtime, or the way we say hello, or anything. I love inventing my own personal family language—random made-up words for just the family. And singing, I love spontaneously making up songs and I think it’s comforting to have that very defined sub-culture of a family (words, songs, etc. just tangibly delineate that).

Compromise is vital to a marriage. To do this, you need to be able to communicate what you need/want, you need to listen to what your partner is communicating, you need to be sure that you both understand exactly what has been agreed to, and then you need to follow through. You can’t always be looking over your partner’s back to see that they’re doing what they agreed to do. They need to stick with the agreement. If they feel uncomfortable about it, change their mind, etc., then they need to raise the issue with you again, but they shouldn’t just do something contrary (as a general rule) without talking to you first. You need to be able to build up on these things or else every discussion (disagreement, argument) will lead back to them one way or another.

I want a relationship centered around family. Nothing else, within reason, should be placed ahead of that. Work will occasionally dictate otherwise of course, but that shouldn’t change where your focus is. Life wasn’t meant to be dominated by work and bosses that will come and go, but by having a lasting effect on others. For some people, that’s crusading for some great cause (or pretending that they are more than likely); for me, it’s the life I create with a family—I have a wonderful, enriching life with a woman and we raise kids who will do the same; they see the good in people and the world and they make the world better on a personal basis.

--brio