open letter to the universe

i don't know whether to reach out,
or pull back into my own pain.
i know your pain swallows you,
but i don't know if it would eat me too,
or if you even want me.
would it be like a dying star?
would i only feed its voracious appetite
with my being consumed to make you nova?
would it be like the heart of pitch black night--
you dream and dream it will soon be over.