ack

couldn't sleep last night.
felt like my stomach is full of nails.
spent the morning worshiping the almighty porcelain god.
minor panic attack this morning or something.
can't really eat.
studying for itil cert exams on thurs and fri.

not a fun day.

And

And you slipped through my life

And my hands

And shattered on the ground

And and and

I can’t put you back together.

Your pieces cut my hands.

an interruption

you call me awkward and afraid
preening for permission to be free.
i can remove the nails, but not the cross,
so while you bleed, you're bleeding me.

each night is another grieving struggle
that leaves you damp with anticipation.
will it be brushed back tears and escape
or fumbling and fucking toward emancipation?

marks on my legs where the bear was gnawing

i forget what bear tastes like. didn't go anywhere today, spent most of it just trying to cope.

monlogue for a dialogue

Tell me what you know of life

And I can tell you who’s the fool

Teach me what you’ve learned

And I can preach there’s no need for school.

Show me all that is

And we’ll see all that isn’t

Know me and you can feel

Everything you didn’t.

the 3

but, which? 2 coupes, 1 convertible. all have "4" seats. the bmw would be a trip to germany to pick up. infiniti is the most common sense, maybe even just the sedan. ah, but a convertible! or that sexy, sexy audi coupe. i miss my old audi. not that i haven't thoroughly enjoyed driving my brother's '98 honda civic for the last year and a half. ah, the price we pay. first, need to get a place of my own, then we can worry about which of these delicious cars might accompany. perhaps, some test-driving will await us in between. now, i just need to get a compatriot to come along for the fun.

the lighter side of life

if you get this... :) if not, maybe you should read some of the posts on entropy in the sidebar.