a funny thing happened to my forum
if you haven't seen the movie this title post is paraphrased from, then i highly recommend it you swainish peasant swine. good 60's comedy.
i'm a lucky guy; i am, things usually go my way within the overall flow of the karmic universe. however, let me temper that with one counterbalance, i am regularly beset by minute tragic consequences of fleeting monumental significance. always. for example, i was run over on my bike last month (minor damage to self and bike). guess how many times i've been run over? 3. 1) went into windshield of van [while both of us were moving-- i was on a bike]. 2) was run over as a pedestrian on my first visit to houston, tx by an idiot lady in a red pick-up; i went up and over her hood and she took off. 3) last month's education of a florida driver. but, i digress and hope that you will just take my word on this one as this anecdote shall illustrate.
i was discharged from the army for a chronic back problem. i see a chiropractor and a massage therapist as regularly as i am able to do with my travel and work schedule. after my last trip to michigan, my sacrum was "out"; it just wasn't right and wasn't going back to where it needed to be. every member of the medical profession has a sadistic streak in them. just like all psychologists have serious oedipal issues. well, each therapist has a focal point of the body that they believe is the nexus of all issues. mine believe this is the deep abdominal and groin area. so, she's working on my illio-psoas and hits a hot point that elicits a bit of a yelp from me and refers down to the inside of my left groin. so, she goes down to work there, and same thing, ouch. she decides to go get some ointment to let that sit and work down the muscle. so, she starts swabbing something like icy-hot and is not very judicious in her application of this evil-smelling concoction. she comments, "this will burn a little, but it will be okay." yes, i know that, it's supposed to get a little warm, but just on the offending muscle, not on my more tender areas. so, yeah, it's starting to burn, a little, a little, A LOT, A LOT!!! the next 2-3 minutes would make a great rated-R comedy routine. i'm naked with the covering sheet dynamically splayed as i flop around screaming while she starts throwing wet towels at me to try to wipe the damn stuff off. [i learned this morning from my chiropractor that those ointments heat up more to temperature changes so the cold water was making it worse] after i "calmed" down, she keeps repeating, "i'm sorry, that wasn't funny", while she's laughing so hard that she has tears streaming down her face. hmm.
her 4 o'clock didn't show up, i can only assume the blood-curdling screams scared him off.
i'm a lucky guy; i am, things usually go my way within the overall flow of the karmic universe. however, let me temper that with one counterbalance, i am regularly beset by minute tragic consequences of fleeting monumental significance. always. for example, i was run over on my bike last month (minor damage to self and bike). guess how many times i've been run over? 3. 1) went into windshield of van [while both of us were moving-- i was on a bike]. 2) was run over as a pedestrian on my first visit to houston, tx by an idiot lady in a red pick-up; i went up and over her hood and she took off. 3) last month's education of a florida driver. but, i digress and hope that you will just take my word on this one as this anecdote shall illustrate.
i was discharged from the army for a chronic back problem. i see a chiropractor and a massage therapist as regularly as i am able to do with my travel and work schedule. after my last trip to michigan, my sacrum was "out"; it just wasn't right and wasn't going back to where it needed to be. every member of the medical profession has a sadistic streak in them. just like all psychologists have serious oedipal issues. well, each therapist has a focal point of the body that they believe is the nexus of all issues. mine believe this is the deep abdominal and groin area. so, she's working on my illio-psoas and hits a hot point that elicits a bit of a yelp from me and refers down to the inside of my left groin. so, she goes down to work there, and same thing, ouch. she decides to go get some ointment to let that sit and work down the muscle. so, she starts swabbing something like icy-hot and is not very judicious in her application of this evil-smelling concoction. she comments, "this will burn a little, but it will be okay." yes, i know that, it's supposed to get a little warm, but just on the offending muscle, not on my more tender areas. so, yeah, it's starting to burn, a little, a little, A LOT, A LOT!!! the next 2-3 minutes would make a great rated-R comedy routine. i'm naked with the covering sheet dynamically splayed as i flop around screaming while she starts throwing wet towels at me to try to wipe the damn stuff off. [i learned this morning from my chiropractor that those ointments heat up more to temperature changes so the cold water was making it worse] after i "calmed" down, she keeps repeating, "i'm sorry, that wasn't funny", while she's laughing so hard that she has tears streaming down her face. hmm.
her 4 o'clock didn't show up, i can only assume the blood-curdling screams scared him off.
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