forecast for the new year
1) particularly relevant to florida, there will be more hurricanes and tropical depressions than last year. we made it to "Zeta" this year; next year, they will go through the stupid names, the greek alphabet, and resurrect cyrillic in its pure form to keep the media happy.
2) both parties will continue to demonstrate their irrelevance. unfortunately, this will prompt ross perot to re-appear and quash any real thoughts of having a serious third alternative. by the end of the year, this new common enemy will re-ignite our faith in the two-party system.
3) the redskins will make the play-offs and go all of the way to the championships. no, really. i'm not kidding on this one. stop laughing.
4) avian flu and mad cow will be long forgotten. instead, per my previous post, kindergarteners' kold will sweep the world bringing civilization to the brink. millions will die. kindergarteners will be hunted to extinction. this time the super-conservatives will not only not try to block removal of life-support for a dying 5 year old, they will encourage it as "god's will". ross perot will cluelessly discuss the budget deficit instead on that media day; the front-running democrat (it will take 2 years now to prepare for election day) will also miss the headline and deliver a long-winded, stilted discourse on the plight of the poor from his yacht.
5) rumsfeld will retire. he will be replaced by the former batboy from the texas rangers when bush owned the team. the media will not pillory his credentials, nor the apparent cronyism involved until they remember that we are still in iraq (it will take them a few months) and will wrongly blame him for it even thought things will probably be running fairly smoothly.
2) both parties will continue to demonstrate their irrelevance. unfortunately, this will prompt ross perot to re-appear and quash any real thoughts of having a serious third alternative. by the end of the year, this new common enemy will re-ignite our faith in the two-party system.
3) the redskins will make the play-offs and go all of the way to the championships. no, really. i'm not kidding on this one. stop laughing.
4) avian flu and mad cow will be long forgotten. instead, per my previous post, kindergarteners' kold will sweep the world bringing civilization to the brink. millions will die. kindergarteners will be hunted to extinction. this time the super-conservatives will not only not try to block removal of life-support for a dying 5 year old, they will encourage it as "god's will". ross perot will cluelessly discuss the budget deficit instead on that media day; the front-running democrat (it will take 2 years now to prepare for election day) will also miss the headline and deliver a long-winded, stilted discourse on the plight of the poor from his yacht.
5) rumsfeld will retire. he will be replaced by the former batboy from the texas rangers when bush owned the team. the media will not pillory his credentials, nor the apparent cronyism involved until they remember that we are still in iraq (it will take them a few months) and will wrongly blame him for it even thought things will probably be running fairly smoothly.
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